Frank

No one ever seems to have the answers to the questions you need answered the most.  

I find that highly annoying.  

I'm sure you can figure out simple mathematics and directions and other bogus shit on your own, yet nine times out of ten there's usually someone around to help you out.  But when you have a legit dumbfounded life moment and you really need someone outside of your self to help you see the light, nada.  Nothing.  Whether it be about love, career or religion, everyones an idiot all of a sudden.  No one wants to be the one to give you the advice that can either turn you into a monster or help you evolve into a spectacular individual.

It is at these exact moments that you really have to get in touch with who you are at your core being.  I mean, you really have to dig deep.  Figure shit out and shit.  You almost have to re-question who you are, what you represent and what you want out of this little journey called life.  And hopefully, thats enough.  

For some of us, however, those series of questions just lead you into a deeper vestibule of your emotional makeup, further confusion. Still, with no answers.

This is why I don't do this shit.

In the worst kinda way, I want you, you, you, you, you

I don't want no trouble

Just a little lovin'

I don't want ya money

I wanna get to know ya

You oughta get to know me

I wanna make you wander

And then the church said, "Amen".  

If you're lucky, every once in a while you'll meet someone who kinda puts you on your ass.  In a good way though.  Im talking about when someone makes you have a fucking seat for a second. And regardless of whether or not the feelings mutual, you can't help it.  Your ass is grass, officially, even if the moments only fleeting.


Before you know it, your ass is doing all types of frivolous bullshit to kill any idle time you may have.  Why? So you won't sit around daydreaming about inappropriate things you want to do with/to a stranger, of course. All the red flags in the world couldn't stop you from jumping out of the window with it. In a way, you've learned more about yourself in the last 24 hours than you've learned in the last 24 years. And that beats logic any day. 

Shit is legit.

Sing for Peace and Bang For Freedom

So.

Here goes.

I'm not angry.  I'm not bitter.  I'm not full of rage.

I am, however, interested.  Confused.  Concerned.

Irresponsible, yes, but I intentionally avoided the Trayvon Martin story like the plague.  I knew the back drop (a black kid was murdered by a white man for no apparent reason) but that was all. I knew there was audio of what happened up to his last breath and I knew that a hoodie was involved.  But that was as far as I knew.

I haven't exactly been the nicest person lately.  I've had more douche bag days since I've moved to NY than I've had in my entire life.  After a lot of reflecting about who I was, am and will be I realized I needed to change.  Long story short, I've been practicing....happiness.

My instincts told me that Trayvon would surely send me flying off the handle and counteract any progress I may have made.  And I reeeealllly didn't want that. I didn't want to be filled with hatred and pent up aggression over something I knew I would have little power over.

But that's not a good enough excuse to turn a blind eye on injustice.
And my Facebook newsfeed was becoming overwhelmingly flooded with everyone else's two cents on it. Including Sinead O'Connor.

I think her brilliant, on-time, love-filled chastising of America, the youth and the music industry was the straw that broke the camels back.

So now its my turn.

Firstly, I'd like to lovingly say, "FUCK YOUR FUCKING HOODIE".  Yes, the gesture was admirable.  And, yes,  the message/meaning behind it may have completely went over my head. But from where I'm standing, I can't possibly see what good wearing a fucking hoodie is going to do to demand justice for Trayvon's murder, counteract the KU KLUX KLAN-intiated bad reputation and stereotype of hoods OR make other black youth in America feel protected by the law and its enforcers.

Seriously, I can't see it. I guess seeing a bajillion people wearing hoodies would slightly soothe the family of Trayvon.  But that isn't enough.  In regards to the local governments, other 'watchmen', etc:

Where is the action?

Where is the follow up?

Where is the accountability?

Where is the apology?  The empathy? Hell, the sympathy?  Where is the promise or at least the false belief that somehow/someway there are efforts in place to ensure this type of thing won't happen again?

Of all the times America has lied to me, why can't it be now?  I'm clutching onto my last shred of faith in this nation world.  The religions, the governments, the economies have always been question(ed)(able) but most of us subscribed to those things wholeheartedly because......

it made sense?
it protected us?
it kept the peace?

Well, I'm having a hard time believing any of those things today.  It would be nice if the government of the nation that black people built would at least pretend to give a fuck.  Just this once.

And hold the phone right there because I'm totally not about to go on some 'black this, black that/America blah blah' rant.  That's not what this is about.  I'm actually questioning the moral compass of all of humanity.

What in the fuck are we doing?
Or, should I say, What in the fuck are we not?

Am I the only one who thinks we ( i.e. every living person on earth) are being duped?

Didn't Jason Russell just launch thee most genius campaign ever for regular ass folks like myself to help change the world? To take down a powerful war monger...VIA FUCKING FACEBOOK?????? Did he not just remind the citizens of the world the true power WE have in numbers alone?

And then what the fuck happened?

Whitney Houston died.  Trayvon Martin was murdered.  Jason Russell went nuts.  The end.

The Kony campaign has been swept under the rug as if it never even happened.  Those fuckin conspiracy theories usually sound ridiculous to me but if ever there was one that I could find myself believing in, it would be one based around this shit here.

All I'm saying is that there has to be something we can do.  There has to.  If there isn't, whats the fucking point?  Why should I want to abide by the laws of a nation when many of those laws won't protect me?  Why fit into the molds of a society that thinks injustice is merely a word and not a disgusting action that can be fought against? The ways of intolerant organized religion and out dated governing systems have not seemed to make this world a better place, in my humble opinion, so why not try a different approach?  I don't know much about the 'end times' but from what I've heard, this could very well be it. And if it is, I think its just on time.  But if its not, still, I think the world is beyond ready for some change.

So why not be a rebel and revolt?