Over My Dead Body

*Le Sigh*

Who needs a shrink when you have a pen and paper? Or the internet? 

I stopped writing this way for a while.  And it showed. But I've picked it up again and I'd like to think I'm at my best with it now.

So yeah, into the mind of a creative, a Capricorn, a twenty-five year old, a dreamer, a girl......

It gets pretty complex up there sometimes.  So much so that shit just fades to black sometimes and theres nothing going on up there at all. Then it comes pouring back tenfold.

Writing should be mandatory. If not for everyone, at least for me.  Shit could sit on my mind for months with no closure but once I transfer it to paper (or computer) I'm instantly relieved.  

I could hate myself for being so in my head all the time.  I could let it drive me crazy. I could drown myself in drugs and psychologist bills. Or I could just hide from it.

But really, what would be the point? 

Even though it rarely seems so, I think your thoughts are all related/connected. And if you work through just one, you end up uncovering some shit about another. I guess thats the scary part. 

The exposure.

Exposure> Vulnerability> Pain> Some kind of death.

I'm not built for any of those things.  No one is. But the fear isn't worth the sacrifice. Or at least thats the lesson I'm trying to get through to myself. I don't think any of those things are escapable. And if thats the case, why be afraid to understand them?

So when that one that you finally want is no longer an option, when you're dead wrong about something you really wanted to be right about, and no one will ever understand...just write