Miles

You ever forget who you are sometimes?

And no, I'm not on my usual emo shit today.  This isn't some in-my-head shit.  

I mean, like, do you ever find yourself thinking or acting some kind of way that is totally not YOU?

Like, normally I'm a lover of all things unconventional.  I love learning shit.  I like getting to understand  things that are outside of my comfort zone.  And I'm usually pretty unapologetic about it. I will FIEND OUT for you to help me understand something.  You will want to slap me.

...Normally.

So why then, am I being a little scary bitch about asking someone this one thing that I REALLY WANT TO FUCKING KNOW THE ANSWER TO? 
1) Because its about myself
2) I'm afraid.
3) The answer has no real function in life other than to irritate my soul.

Walk with me through this one.  The music of Miles Davis and a 10-second reality check from my best friends boyfriend gave me the courage to get this far.  I can't stop now.

My normal self is courageous.  I'm a pretty brave girl, in theory. Sort of. My normal self doesn't care too much what people think about me personally. Don't get me wrong- I'm VERY interested in peoples perception of me but not in the sense that it affects what the hell I do.

So if the above statements are true, I should NOT be afraid to hear what this person has to say about me, right? 

Where the fuck is my 'normal self' right now?

...ok, so maybe I am being in-my-head again.

BUT

If we move past the fear factor of it all, to the next point...

3)It doesn't even matter. At All.

I'm fiending to know something that, even if I had the answer to, wouldn't do or change anything.  So whats really the point?

There is no point.

I'm just neurotic.