"Remember those days when I went to bed hungry/All I ever ate was white rice and honey/Big dreams in my head empty my tummy/Might crack a smile but ain't nothin funny"
These past three weeks have been a journey. This isn't a sad, woe-is-me story, firstly. Everytime I think I've been taken to the edge or as if I can't possibly handle a certain situation I am proven horribly wrong. Thank God. I am learning the amazing things I'm capable of. Im learning and extending the limits of my personal strength.
And I know I'm not the only one. Sometimes shit just gets soooo fucking hard and we think that if one more thing goes wrong we are going to just roll over and die.
And then it happens, of course, and we put on our big girl panties and keep it pimpin.
That's life.
Never thought I would be able to make rent for an entire year in nyc working bullshit retail jobs. Never thought I'd be going to bed both hungry as hell and happy as shit so often. Never thought I'd have the confidence to make my career aspirations an actual plan of action. On a smaller, simpler scale, I never thought I'd be fearless enough to just be me unapologetically... hardcore... true shit (I mean, duh, everyone claims to be themselves but we all know the deal).
Lo and behold, all of these things have manifested. I could've bitched up and went back to Detroit the first time shit got real. But I didn't. And I guess thats a testament to my childhood maybe? I grew up in an environment that demanded strength. I'm not trying to make it sound like I grew up in the projects with dopefiend parents or something but the city (ANY urban city) pushes you to be strong. Only the strong survive. I think its in the water or something.
Whatever it is, I'm just happy I got it.
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