Musical Lateness

i havent been up on the latest lately. im slacking. actually, ive been working like a maniac. now its time to stop and smell the roses.


'Turn my sorrows into treasured gold'


I loved Adele's first album, 21. Perfect winter music. This is "Rolling in the Deep" and its dope.
I'ma need for someone to put me on to a Limewire alternative.
 



The only reason I listened to this song to begin with is because I heard the MJB sample in the beginning. I LOVE old Mary. and this song actually turned out to be a nice one by Mr.Khalifa.
 



Granted, this has been an anthem of mine since the summer but only recently did she do the video for it. Its the polar opposite of how i feel when i hear this shit. calm, clear, and concise.
 



thanks to some guys at work, i  was reminded of the genius that is Lil Wayne. (OD, right? lol)
 


This was probably the most unexpected banger that I've heard though. Im not gonna lie, I thought Alicia was washed after the last album. Im glad she proved me wrong.

Just Whip It

im so wanting to bite this right now. i can do all types of foolishness with this hair right here.

Go Crazy

Micheal Jordan X Nike has yet again inspired hysteria in sneakers stores across the country and in the online universe as well.  The Cool Grey 11's were released to the public this morning and its like Black Friday for the cool kids. Lines galore (or at least a million facebook stats about lines galore) have taken shape full of people desperate to get their nubs on a pair in this fucking freezing weather.

Here's the product:

I love the way boys dress in NY, so Im reeeallllly excited to see the different ways they freak these babies.

Kisses to Santa Claus

If Santa were real, he would likely be bringing me the following:

1) .22 Diamond studs from Tiff's (which will be mine regardless for the birthday thats coming up)
2) Red Wings Knit cap from the NHL store (My friend Joie tried to sell me off to this kid who worked there so she could get hired- i wonder if i can get this hat out of the deal lol jk)
3) These are the only UGGs you'll ever catch on my feet
4) Classic MJB
5) My addiction, a pack of #1 16 or 18"

and maybe some speakers so I can blast this Xmas morning

Love and I, as narrated by a Beyonce playlist

I have got to be thee angriest person awake right now. I  just spent at least a few hours writing the best blog of my life and the stupid "autosave" on this stupid Blogger killed it. I dont even remember half of the stuff I was writing about!!!!!!! I was on some ol' Carrie Bradshaw "from confused to Confucius"shit. Like, really. I could hurt someone at the Blogger offices right now. Who said I wanted my every keystroke to be automatically saved anyway? Ugh.

So the original version of this story was practically an essay, super long. I had a visual/audio briefer version as well for those who dont actually read too lol

This is a mere continuation of some thoughts I had on the train the other day. My iPod played one of the most beautiful songs I've heard in my entire life. I had heard the song dozens of times before but for some reason, the lyrics really struck a chord this time to the point where I couldnt take it off repeat.   I dont know whether it had to do with the fact that I had just seen a photo of Nicole Richie looking incredibly happy in her gorgeous wedding gown or the fact that I had just developed the most seriously thought consuming crush of my adult life. Either way, my mind took me to a place that it doesnt go to very often: love.

Just typing the word makes me feel like some kind of loser. Im not that girl thats all, "oh, i cant wait to get married", blah, blah blah. I mean, yes I do want a wedding, but only for the dress and gifts part. I mean, can I skip the husband part? Jk.

But seriously, that was kind of my issue. My screwed up perspective of love. I blamed Disney. They were an easy scapegoat. Those were the motherfuckers who sold me this pipe dream of living happily ever after with some guy who I would be wildly in love with just as much as he with me. And I, like most other little girls, ate that shit right on up. But then when I grew old enough to pay attention to relationships of those around me I was sadly failed. I didnt see any happily-ever-afters within a one million mile radius. I saw people who were married but living seperate lives,people who treated each other with more disrespect than they would their sworn enemies and people who messed up their own personal growth behind their significant other. The saddest were the ones who let small cracks cause the demise of the beautiful lives they created together. I couldnt help but be affected by that. Those observations made me not want to have anything to do with love. I figured no one could break my heart (which was certain to happen) if I never gave them the opportunity. I felt like I wouldnt get sidetracked from pursuing my dreams if I didnt have a guy distracting me. And I was right. 100% right. I'm 24 with no clue as to how it feels to have your heartbroken by a boyfriend and I have never had to consult with anyone other than me, myself and I regarding moves that I want to make in life. No distractions.

But what the hell? Moving through life without those wounds (ya know, love is a battefield, i hear?) isnt cool either. In fact, its kind of a bitch move. Like, oh, Im not going to allow myself to fall for someone because Im afraid I'll get my heart shattered into a bajillion pieces? Bitch move. I heard someone once say that if youre not willing to risk being hurt then you dont deserve to be in love. Something to think about...

The little funky attitude I had towards love was only further perpectuated by the failed marriage of my two favorite people in music: Nas and Kelis. Let me explain.  Kelis has been a major influence/inspiration in my life since way back in middle school when I was the weirdo black girl in Detroit who had a thing for Madonna, Spice Girls and blue hair. And Nas...man, I used to get into heated arguements with dudes about how he won the battle with Jay-Z and how he was the best rapper alive. I made it my personal duty to vote for "Oochie Wally" everyday for the 106 & Park countdown #kidshit. So you can only imagine the excitement I had when they started dating and got married. And then the downright breakdown I experienced when they divorced. I havent bought a Nas record since.

That was kind of it for me. Hollywood love was failing me just as miserably as real-life love. But then something happened. I honestly dont know what it was but I  just kind of started to shed that negative stigma I had. Maybe it just got to be too heavy of baggage to carry around all the damn time? Maybe the fact that I finally dealt with my daddy/daughter issues had something to do with it? Idk. I just know that I started actually being nice (sorta) to guys that were tryna get on lol. And I suddenly wanted nothing more for my friend than for her to make things work with her baby's father. And I stopped telling my sister I hated all her potential boyfriends before I even knew their names lol.

Crazy.

Then there was this crush I found myself completely obsorbed in. I had practically fallen in love at first sight. I mean, I called home and told my bests that this man was going to be the father of my chir'ren (lmao jk). I was completely enamored with this man. Seriously. I was just as surprised as the next person. Granted, the crush is absolutely squashed at present moment but it was really quite fun while it lasted. I havent been that frazzled around a person since I was a teenybopper. I would go into detail but I have had enough of going against that little voice in the back of my head that tells me when Im fucking up.

My little spat of lunacy just restored my faith that it is possible to feel that Disney dumb way about someone and maybe, just maybe, they will feel the same about you.

Me vs Love: The cliffnotes version

Story begins...the most beautiful song ever.




"My heart
Used to be cold
Til your hands
Laid on my soul"

Awwww. I want one!
Then real life takes its seat and..



"I may never understand why
Im doing the best that I can and I
I tried and I tried to forgive it
But Im just too damn full of resentment"


Fuck you Disney.
Its cool though, ya know? Cuz...




"Diva gettin money"

And..



"Do ya think
you can fall for a woman like me
cuz i find it hard to trust
i need to much
 and i really dont believe in love"

But wait a minute...I guess thats not so cool.



Im scared of lonely
and im scared of being the only
shadow i seeeee along the wall
and im scared the only heartbeat
i hear beating
is my own

...and then there's this boy

"when you stole my cool
you had me at hello"
It was kinda like...


"oooh boy you lookin like you like what you see
wont cha come over and check up on it?"

So I was thinkin



"couldn't help but notice how you're staring at me
baby you're so fine
you deserve my time
with those sexy eyes your qualified
so boy, why don't ya
baby why won't ya
come and talk to me?"

and the delusional craziness in my head begins..


"Baby I cant go anywhere
without thinkin that youre there
seems like youre everywhere its true
gotta be having deja vu

Boy I try to catch myself but Im out of control
youre sexiness is so appealing I cant let it go"

...and im REALLY delusional




"if you aint there, aint no body there to impress"

The crazy antics blow-up-tuate in my face and im left thinking...


"Why dont you love me when i make me so damn easy to love?

lmao

 "THERE'S NOTHING NOT TO LOVE ABOUT ME!!!!!!"


oh well..


close enough.
 ;)





Im actually kind of happy the original version of this post was erased. It may have been too Oprah-y.

The Last Big Top

I finally found the little USB thingy I use to transfer pics from my digital camera! So now I can finally address the circus freak show that was Amanda Lepore's Big Top at Carnival/ Bowlmor in the Village.

 

It was sickening.

There was shit going on in every direction you looked.

Inspiration Overload.

So, over the week on Thanksgiving while my guests were here I dragged them to this party that I had been FEINDING to go to but had been too afraid to get on the train alone at night to go to on my own.

This night in particular, there was to be a celebration for Raquel Reed's latest musical endeavors. I HAD to be there. I dont know much about this Raquel Reed beyond the fact that I am utterly obsessed with her lol.  Well, at least her hair/makeup/style game.  I had to see that damn Atomic Turquoise hair in person....And I did *evil grin*

This gay rap dude, Cazwell was there too. Im not really up on his stuff other than this joint.

...mmm yea

 

It was very interesting to say the least. We had to walk up so many stairs to get to the party level that at one point I thought they were trying to physically lead us to heaven. And I got to see Amanda Lepore but I couldnt get my camera situation together fast enough to immortalize her.

 

Oh, and some fishy bitch slapped this girl in the bathroom. Pure hilarity. In the stall, I could hear:

 

Girl in line: This is the womens bathroom! Theres no wait in mens room, this is for vajayjays (paraphrasing)

 

Man shes talking to: [Blah, blah,blah and doesnt move]

 

Girl in line: [still talking mad ish and apparently doing some kind of thing involving her hands moving in Man's face]

 

Man she's talking to: You better get your HAND out my FACE!

 

*****SLAP!****

 

...and scene.

 

Laughter and wimpering is all I remember after that. what a night :)

 

 

* that chick with the corset? honey, my shotty camera did nothing for her! In real life, her waist was unimaginably small. This chick had a waist the size of an American Girl doll.

I Light Up Like a Genie and I Blow up on this Song

Last Thursday I went to Santos Party House to dance my life away to some Portuguese DJ clan who spinned techno/electro/hip hop mixes until the wee hours of the morning with my favorite Brazilian girl, Joyce. She had mercy on my poor, lonely, party-less soul and invited me into the world of her nightlife. I didnt think I would be able to keep up with her and her friends Wilma and Alex but...

 Oh yeah, baby..

 schmammered, chocolate wasted, you name it...apparently I was so drunk I couldnt keep my eyes open? But I didnt stumple, trip or fall the entire night! I kept it quite classy if you ask me ;)

 

$14 Long Island and Mcdonalds in Chinatown. I need more nights like this.

Sweet dreams are made of thisss

I recently had an overwhelming TWO whole complaints about the lack of updates on this blog! Awesome. Who knew anyone even glanced at it other than myself? I created this baby as an alternative to writing in my paper journal, being as its the twenty-first century and all, ya know.  This blog was a way for me to track the progress as well as the backsteps of my goals, dreams, etc. I also use it as a visual accompaniment for my shotty memory. Surprisingly though, my blog has proved theraputic and has spared me of having to retell some of the same things over and over. That said, lets get to it.

I have been in brooklyn for just over three months and it feels like I've been here for three years. So much has happened in such a short time span. I have had jobs, quit jobs, been denied jobs, created jobs. I have been piss poor, loaded, just fine and stable. I have been, quite literally, lost, found and accidentally in the right place. My whole experience has been one big contradictory rollercoaster of emotions and I not only appreciate it, but LOVE it......

(the sister and I looking like certified lunatics waiting for nicki minaj at the MAC store in times square last week. Well, not lunatics. But i picked the wrong day NOT to utilize a makeup brush)

Last week was kind of epic. This homesick thing was just starting to go away up until then.  My mom, sister and my (practically) adopted sister came to the city to be with me for Thanksgiving and they were here for like a week and it completely threw me. I had a blast. I had so much of a blast, that I quit my job.... Seriously. Well, I guess I didn't reeeally quit out sheer excitement but it was a factor.

....Since you're reading this, Im going to assume that you know me in real life so you already know how much I absolutely hated my bloody job at um, Skateboard B (covering my ass here). It was a wretched hot mess, that place. It was starting to really mess with me.  I remember one day I left work super upset and was STILL upset after my 35 minute rush hour trek home! No ma'am.  And trust, I realize how bratty that sounds. Millions, if not most, feel this exact way everyday allday. I get it. I do. Really. But 1) I am not most people and 2) not for the circumstances this particular situation was under. 

Explanation? Had it been Patricia Field, Marc Jacobs or Vogue and I had to deal with evil retail supremacists for pay that barely covers my iPhone bill, I would totally be down for it. Totally. Because those are places that I would entertain having a future with. Those are places that would provide unbelieveable experiences and opportunities. Skateboard B, however, is not that type of place.  Forget hanging twenty tee shirts, I was gonna end up hanging mySELF if I stayed there! I have given so many people lectures about staying at jobs that werent going anywhere AND not paying well in my past! And here I was, being a big fat hypocrite. One of them should have slapped the shit OUT of me and some sense IN tome a very long three months ago. This was not me. So I had to go. And I did.

...and an even better audio/visual to express how I felt about it

So wrong. sorry. brooklyn is doin something to me. :)

Moving on...

So, yah. nicki minaj. i twitter-stalk her and found out she was doing the launch for her Pink 4 Friday lippie  @ MAC-Times Square and forced my sis out of bed to go see the spectacle that is the Harajuku Barbie herself... Get this, the girl pulled up in a silver Maybach and a floor length white fur. In times square.

She,as well as the Barbz, were in full effect.

Needless to say, I definitely bought a copy of Pink Friday (even though I had already gotten the songs for free online) #groupieass lol. I have yet to listen to the entire thing because I cant get past:

and let me just say this; im soooo over everyones beef with this broad. folks just mad that she managed to adapt the best and learn from the worst of all the femcees before her while sprinkling in a alittle newness in there. AND IT WORKED. what other rapper is doing corny ass Jimmy Kimmel, killing on a Kanye/Jay song and selling almost 400K records first week?? Seriously. Who?...I'll wait.

Kanye outsold her but his ass got boo'd at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade! He's winning right now but not by much. But thats a whole other story. Funny, the more that people are hating him, the more Im actually starting to like him.

Im a Lil Kim fan all day but she completely hoe'd herself with this diss record foolishness. Why would an established iconic entertainer such as herself even address a chick who (at the time) didnt even have a record out? Jay Z would never go at a Drake, or a Wiz Khalifa. Pointless.

Enough of that.

Last week I also got a dose of Carrie, Charolette, Miranda and Samantha. My sister is just as much a fan as I am so we dorkily wandered over to the Meatpacking District, Soho and the Village to..fantasize

My future residence.

(Carries stoop, Magnolia Bakery, Alexander McQueen, Diane Von Furstenburg, DASH NYC, the Christian Louboutin shop, Nik and Joyce)

So last week was a good one. Now, back to reality.

RENT! :)....