Frank

No one ever seems to have the answers to the questions you need answered the most.  

I find that highly annoying.  

I'm sure you can figure out simple mathematics and directions and other bogus shit on your own, yet nine times out of ten there's usually someone around to help you out.  But when you have a legit dumbfounded life moment and you really need someone outside of your self to help you see the light, nada.  Nothing.  Whether it be about love, career or religion, everyones an idiot all of a sudden.  No one wants to be the one to give you the advice that can either turn you into a monster or help you evolve into a spectacular individual.

It is at these exact moments that you really have to get in touch with who you are at your core being.  I mean, you really have to dig deep.  Figure shit out and shit.  You almost have to re-question who you are, what you represent and what you want out of this little journey called life.  And hopefully, thats enough.  

For some of us, however, those series of questions just lead you into a deeper vestibule of your emotional makeup, further confusion. Still, with no answers.

This is why I don't do this shit.

In the worst kinda way, I want you, you, you, you, you

I don't want no trouble

Just a little lovin'

I don't want ya money

I wanna get to know ya

You oughta get to know me

I wanna make you wander

And then the church said, "Amen".  

If you're lucky, every once in a while you'll meet someone who kinda puts you on your ass.  In a good way though.  Im talking about when someone makes you have a fucking seat for a second. And regardless of whether or not the feelings mutual, you can't help it.  Your ass is grass, officially, even if the moments only fleeting.


Before you know it, your ass is doing all types of frivolous bullshit to kill any idle time you may have.  Why? So you won't sit around daydreaming about inappropriate things you want to do with/to a stranger, of course. All the red flags in the world couldn't stop you from jumping out of the window with it. In a way, you've learned more about yourself in the last 24 hours than you've learned in the last 24 years. And that beats logic any day. 

Shit is legit.

Petite Noir

(Zoe Saldana for Malibu Magazine, Sept 2012)

Are you
Or Aren't you?
Cause I can't seem to make one from the other



 Amazing record. Relative lyrics.

If you do not want to see me again, I would understand

When someone extremely important to your very existence is unnecessarily MIA.

I miss absolutely everything about my friend.  No she's not dead.  But I'm probably dead to her.  And she has been quite ghostly to me as well for the longest.  No, we didn't do anything evil to one another. No, there was no backstabbing or boyfriend stealing or any other typical cat fight shit going on.  We just fell apart. And not a day goes by that I don't wish I could just call her up and play some corny emo song and laugh my ass off about stupid shit that we used to do ten years ago.

It really sucks- growing into the woman you've always wanted to be without your codependent confidante, your right hand, your biggest fan, your....everything, in a sense. It wasn't supposed to be like this.  Its not supposed to be like this.  We were supposed to grow together.  We are supposed to exchange life experiences and shitty advice just like we did when we were sixteen.  We are still supposed to be enabling each other to do stupid shit and encouraging the brave, bold new adventures we encounter.  I don't want to date guys that I haven't gotten her approval on yet.  I don't want to post pics on my Instagram that she hasn't told me look cute yet.  I don't want to buy books and ask strangers for life advice that she could be giving me with complete understanding and enthusiasm.  Its like seeing something cool when you're out by yourself and looking desperately around to see if someone else saw it too. Someone you can share that moment with.  And,...nothing.  Your ass is just left hanging.

Sure, I was blessed enough to have more than one best friend in this life but I still want the one that I lost.






Perfection