Monday, October 10, 2011

I. Am Not. A Whore

Theres this guy I "know".  I put quote marks around 'know' because technically, I dont know him, know him. He's just this kid that I see around who happens to be cool with people that I'm cool with.  Relax, this isn't one of THOSE stories, so you can quit rolling your eyes and move your cursor away from the little 'x' in the top corner of this page ;).

This guy is super cool. If I were a man, I'd want to live in his shoes for at least a few years.  Hell, as a woman I want to #NoHomo.  Here's why: he's something like a pornstar.  I.have.heard.stories.

This man only sleeps with 10's.  And he's had, what seems like, tens of hundreds of them.  Granted, I don't know him and he could be lying, but if you met this guy once, you'd quickly doubt it.  He isn't super fashionable or flashy or anything. He's actually what I would call extremely chill. I'm not saying that I want to be a whore, but I AM saying that the things he has said he's experienced sound really cool. 

He has different categories of bitches.  He has a set that are his 'go-to's', meaning that they're always around to use at his leisure.  He has his 'new' girls, i.e. one-nighters.  And then he has his 'girlfriends' which, I don't care about.

He lives alone. In his own crib. And he doesn't let girls leave anything there.  Remember that episode of SATC where Carrie describes Big's apartment as 'Teflon for women'? Yep, thats him.  His Facebook profile? Private, of course BUT he even goes as far as to block his friends from seeing what his other friends post on his wall.  How 'G' is that?  I am very proud to say that I know all of this from other people telling me and NOT because I stalked him. Because I totally didn't. Seriously. I didn't.

And the coolest thing of all is that he gets tested regularly. And he doesn't have any kids.  He's winning, right? Yeah.  Pretty boss, I thought.

I was listening to this song the other day and it made me think about this kid.  It made me wonder if he ever gets tired of all the sexytime. *Ye Shrug*





Sometimes I feel like LL Cool J
I need love, not random boo-tay
But every girl I try to get to know
Ends up tryin to do me

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