Save Me From Myself

So I think I'm about to have an anxiety attack. 

Of course I haven't technically been diagnosed as a person who suffers from them but I know I'm not crazy.  Out of nowhere sometimes I just feel like there is absolutely too much fucking shit going on and there is no way I'm going to be able to handle it. Let me elaborate...

I work for a menswear line (assistant).  I work retail (overnight).  I am working on my real career (more on that when I'm not about to jump off a building).

So.  1) I had a super important photo shoot planned and my photographer fucking canceled on me (he gave me a pretty decent heads up so I'm not too mad). 2) I have a deadline to meet with this blogging shit (for the menswear line) and I don't know where to begin. 3) I just registered for my next FIT course today.  And I totally didn't realize it starts in like a week (*curses self*).  On top of that, I just got on board with yet another 2 photo shoots coming up and may have an opportunity to work with another photographer (but on an entirely different gig than the one that was with the photog that deaded me). 

All of this shit just hit me at like 4:30pm. 

I can't with myself.

Obviously I googled "How to handle anxiety attacks".
One site had it layed out for me in numerical order.
1. Change your diet.(Sure)
2. Reduce caffeine intake. (Fuck you Starbucks and your overpriced delicious ass, get-the-job-done Caramel Frapps!)
3. Vitamin B. (The fuck. is that?)
4. Exercise. (Bitch, I live in New York.  My whole existence can be considered excerise)
5. Massage. (I wish.)

and then a few doozies
6. Analyze and face your problems and fears. (Super 'Fuck you' to whoever wrote this.)
7. Think positive. (Easier said than done)
8.  Take action. (I think thats what got me in this place to begin with)

There were like 12 more but they lost my interest.
I need narcotics. Now.

Off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Fashion: Alexander McQueen's Savage Beauty Exhibit

You know there was absolutely no way I was going to miss the Alexander McQueen Savage Beauty exhibit at the Met, right? Dude, you have NO idea the ordeal I went through to see it.

Friday I went with two friends and stayed on the line TO GET ON THE LINE for like 1 1/2 hours. Yes, there was definitely a line to actually get in line.  Needless to say, we dipped.

I, however, do not give up so easily.  Sunday was the last day of the exhibit and I was certain I'd just see it then.  No one told me what I had signed myself up for.  From what I hear, everyone had some sort of obstacle course to go through to see this shit. Let me run down mine.

6:00 am   Alarm goes off. I think.  Well, I set it for 6!....I think.

7:30 am   I actually get out of bed, shower, clean face, throw on Olsen sized shades and leave by 8

9:00 am   Get off train lost and sick

9:15 am   Find Starbucks and all is well with the world

9:20 am   Ask lady where the fuck the museum is, hop on bus, spot pretty eyed dreadhead, distraction ensues

9:30 am   Get off bus full of excitement, literally run to the museum which is crowded by people everywhere.  I see a break in the 'line' and hop in.  Those quotations are there for a reason, my friend.  About five minutes into the line the foreign guy in front of me turns around and attempts to go ape shit on me.  Seriously.  He's all, "NO CUTTING!.." and "THE LINES BACK THERE!". In the midst of this, the fucker grabs my elbow as if he's going to literally pull me out of line.  In my head, I am utterly confused because I was fucking positive that I had, in fact, joined at the end of the line.  Then the two little Asian kids behind me started piping (pipe-ing? Spell check, motherfucker?) in.  Then Foriegner 1 Guy grabs my arm AGAIN.  This time despite my confusion, a small amount of my common sense kicked in and I slapped his hand off me and gave a very stern "DON'T PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME," complete with a dramatic slow blink and head motion. No neck roll though. Lmao. I went to the back of the line because I was actually in the wrong, but still...

9:40 am   Line seemed as if it were a good twelve blocks long.  I would've sworn every able body in the city of New York was in that damn line.  And it was scorching hot. And sunny.  I was fuming. I just told my dad about the line and he said the only way he'd stay in a line like that was if Jesus Christ was gonna be making an appearance. Hysterical.

9:50 am   Accepted that I would never let myself live it down if I didn't see the shit so I stayed.  The ladies in front of me kept me entertained.  One kept falling asleep standing up everytime the line stood still for more than a minute.  The other one kept pulling out random shit from her purse (two umbrellas, newspaper, and a bra). 

12:00 am   Finally made it in the building to purchase tickets. After the ticket line was the line to actually see the exhibit.  This line was a concrete three hour wait. I needed an intermission. I went through the museum to the cafe to eat before I rammed my head into a statue or something.  Most people already know I'm a scaredy cat. Museums are on the list of things that I don't really fuck with like that (at least, alone). I am especially freaked out by those old medieval statue thingys that are like metal soldiers (you know, with the head piece on it and the sword? I don't think I realized how much of an idiot I am until just now lol). I always think of Scooby Doo when I see them.  Like, even though those things are supposed to be empty, someone may actually be in them shits. Annnyywho, I went to the cafe, got charged $3 for a fucking Dasani and choked on a french fry.

1:00 pm  On line.  Officially. 

4:00 pm   I believe it was around this time that I went in. I was immediately high.  I wont attempt to articulate this experience because words just aren't enough. Towards the end, I turned bitch. I felt tears forming and I thought I was going to lose it. I didn't though.  I'm from Detroit.  We don't do that shit. Kidding. #homesickdotcom.

5:00 pm   Was heading out of the building

*all times are approximate.  i have the memory of a hippie.

I will revisit this experience again once the newness wears off and get more technical about what I saw and the impact it had on me , but that day is not today.

Enjoy the pics I sneaked while I was in there.

It'll be flyy, if you were my b.u.d.d.y

Friends With Benefits...
Not sure exactly how I feel about it.
Everyone says the same thing, sounds good in theory but in actuality it never works

I saw the movie and it was hilarious. Of course in the end, JT and Mila ended up together in a very ironic fairytale type of way.

In a perfect world....

wish we could switch up the roles and i could be that...

Easily the coolest girl in the room at any given time. I can never get enough of Zoe Kravitz.  Her style is amazing and her music aint so bad either :)

Left Side Drive

Marie Claire Italia

LEFT SIDE DRIVE by solange-knowles